A simple prayer...
"Dear Lord, thank you for giving me this busy week...
thanks for always being so forgiving and faithful
though some things have change... but your love didnt fade away,
always there waiting at the door. Often there are times where i dun understand
how things work... but Lord you'll never fail to deliever. Lord, I pray that you'll
con't to use me. Also, to make myself receptive to priorities.
The few weeks ahead will be even tougher... pls grant me that wisdom T.T
Many many many stuff have happen... happy sad... just pray that you would con't to
strengthen the weak, and the happy :)
In jesus name i pray~ amen

realise how much impt INPUT is without OUTPUT.
so what if i've a lot of input.... when my output is like 10% of the input...
everything has to start from scratch... from scratch...
time to let some stuff go~

yeos! i'm back again at last :)

it's been really tough through e 3 weeks that has past...

more stuff to do... more things i see myself lack of... n even more stuff

it's been never ending, and has always been that way...

there were times that i doubt myself... my ability... anything that has got to do with me :/

i even doubt my relationship with God...

Sometimes it just disgust me to think that I need to be spiritual... holy holy~

Just don't see how it relates... why bother even being a christian in the first place...

DOUBT~ it's really a pain in the ass

so what if I'm a person that do God's work... but it seems so surface... love others?

yeah i did.. but it never seems enough and I just couldnt stand a 1 sided love to others or to me...

seriously it sucks... finally understand the feeling of.... when there's the good times, people will be there for you... bad times... people just scram...

must it be that I must say that HEY! i have a problem.... but again... will people hear?

hehe... it must be sucky to be in such a pinch situation but you know what...

Jesus been through it before!

those kind of rejects and the feeling of loneliness... but still he never complained....

today... i would lyk to introduce a friend... a friend that is v dear to me, a pal that never rejects and hear my pain... and he's Jesus... he may seem unreal.... but my experience with him, gave me a confirmation that... he's e real thing man ~ my faith isnt a blind faith, i'm not someone who is brainwash or hyphotise

cause I know he's a God that has came down... died for us... and ressurcted, this IS the reason and core to our christian belief :)

this 3 weeks has been tough indeed... and this are my situation

CF is back in NYP again, i dunno what's gonna come but I can only pray that it will become a group that is strong and bonded, rooted in christ. Hope my service in cf will get me rooted and firm... discipline too ^^

Crusade is getting eggciting, pda com is whr i get to serve... dunno what role i will be but i'm eggcited! SM role.... i really dunno, but i'm still at tots but probably not :/

Boys brigade! currently a primer in charge... haven't been involve in BB for almost a month already... missing a lot of action and interaction wif the boys and volunteers. It's really not easy to multi task... but still I know that this ministry will still go on.... it shape lives and build character

Church involvement... woo, have been quite drain from the involvement in church plus fellowship... preparing for JMZ was draining but i guess it's something worth doing.. keep it up guys! More church stuffs coming up... classes.... and more classes.

Studies... hehe! long last... i've started a bit of revision already :D 5 more weeks till common test! hope i can really make a difference this year and so on. I'll do my best... and i'll prove it :) i'm not e mugger sort... just do my homework early tat's all :) plus recap. yeah~

Social circle... haha! friends... i have many... but to find dear friends... it's not easy... I'm glad and thankful for those who have heard my cries... and sorry for those i've shut myself from... everyone is different, and have different needs... it's really hard to get one's conversation going especially when there's this gap among each other... but how to... close e gap then? still pondering... Friends out there... keep going... may things good or bad.. keep pushing... if it's really putting weight... i'll giv u support... but ultimately.... know your direction well :)

friends... if i've done anything stupid or wrong... forgive me... i too will forgive and forget... so let the matter rest and we'll conquer the future together :)

Family... hoho tmr is mother's day! hope to give my mummy a surprise. shh it's a secret but i'm gonna clean the whole house tmr! rawr. My mom has done all kinds of shit for my family... it's time for me to grow up and start to care for my parents by doing something :)

my uncle from my mum's side has just past away... last sat 1/5... i dunno who is he... but he's a v dear uncle in my mum's eyes... he's lyk her best ge ge ever... though he's a non-christian... but he lives lyk a true man... a man with a pure heart... i didnt even get to see the last of him till now... and i feel really ashame... today he's been rested... i feel so ashamed really and useless... and when i think about what i'm gonna do next... i stumble.... what am i going to do now? i still have many relatives out there i dun even know let alone e gospel... so what if i'm involve in many christian stuff... when my closest doesnt even see it in me that character and attitude...

ashame and useless i am...

Relationship... haiz i really dunno what i am thinking really... it feels lyk i really wanna get a relationship... but when i think about it... i guess it's really the need to have someone close to talk to... and i guess... i wouldnt need a partner for that... but i still stumble... I know... i need to ren... priortise! but i really dunno... i'm lost lyk always... but i guess this is one thing i know... if God wants you to have it... surely u will have it... if he doesnt wan you to have it... surely no matter how hard... it will be wasted... girl... u've started to crack me... but surely... if u'll the one... hehe i'll wait :)

hehe another long blog... wanna keep track of wad i've been doing before i forget so ya tata~ night and God bless!

Today is yet another different day :)
Went back to COGs, brings back memories...
Can't believe i'll be playing the piano for next weeks enrollment
but i guess it's time... have been avoiding being e pianist for some time
and plus~ it's only 1 song~
Pray hard that i'll be at my best tmr!
Wanna giv my best to God :D
Today... a different day a different look~
Had a lot of thinkin to do recently but still in e midst of sorting out
hope i get my breakthough real soon before the sem starts
SOOO many stuff happened but i'm glad i gt my travellers to talk to :)
The journey with God is indeed amazing...
when things doesnt go right...w8... think... from another perspective... pray...
and slowly it reveals
The process is tedious but it'll be fruitful :)
Do my best... and leave the rest to God~
Today's my first time swimming alone...it's scary, weird...
but it was a gd swim as i find peace in him
My emotion is somewhat stable now... much much stable :D
Still wanna con't typing but... i've gtg :( night~
thanks for reading! God bless

yo! finally back to normal again ^^
gt refreshed~

Maybe I should have just waited....
lyk how i waited for an answer from God....
Having a big traffic JAM in my head =.=
Many things are meant to be kept simple,
yet somehow people just twist and turn...
and it becomes a world hardest knot...
想问候但怕尴尬。。。你说。。。正么办？
but people always say.... if there's no hidden motive in your action... why not?
but again.... We're human =.= The only thing i can say is... pray
Something that i've learn and i hope everyone else would put it at practice too :)
God knows everything.... and if u're willing to trust him... he will provide
A pen can never stand tall in an rocky ride...
but with another force around to support it well
And that is how amazing God is
Lol feel more calm le.. now that i've typed it out :D

相信明天会跟好 :)

hello everybodie~
Looks lyk i broke my own promise xD
not gonna blog abt the book...
gt it returned to the library and couldnt get it back :(
Feels great to type again
This week is sports week!(for me)
Sunday> Bball, running...
Monday> Swimming
Tues> Batminton,pool,wii~
Wed> Swim again...
Thursday> Batminton again...
Friday> Hiking~
Saturday... i dunno...
Sunday> Running!
Wonder if i'll finally gain my balance weight after so many activities...
but they sure are tiring :/
Feels great to be in poly~
But all gd things will go down with something bad :(
Last week was quite "emotional"...
wasnt having the right mood for camp and chalet
but all bad things come wif gd things
met new freshies and got an nyp junior in BBpc at last T.T
was so lonely then...but! all bad thing comes wif something good~~
learned to tone down...
learned to listen....
learned to care but without asking for interest :D
Somethings been alone can be a gd thing too but wif MODERATION....
too lonely and u're become a emo kia = not healthy
too people orientated = lose focus = not healthy :/
but seems lyk i'm both the extreme at times... hop around D:
Recently... I've almost fell i luvvv...
finally gt a little taste of that "feel"...
but I thank God for that book =.=
it has taught me to keep my feeeel aside and wait...
feelings are neither right or wrong BUT the decision after is the problem.
so boys and gals~ whenever u think u've found ur target...
Aim... but dun fire immediately cuz u'll never know wad u're up to until u....
zoom zoom here and thr.... until u're certain... and dun shoot when u're not ready too...
gt a lot of report writing to do wor...
Just using some illustration thr~
Anw... for me... i think i'm just not ready yet :)
Wad's mine is mine so why bother finding xD
Sick of finding and chasing and fake perception...
so.... dun try too hard pls~ wad's ur's ur's
too hard only scare ppl away~ too slack and there goes again~
but rather be slack than hard cuz u're never know.
I love my life~ feel so recharge and focus
BUT! still need to work on the moderation part :)
tata gonna chiil on e bed liao night!