once again... i'm back right here
blog only when i'm moody :/
not going too well...
not running as smooth as it was before
not living a balance life
i'm soooo lost right now :/
this is already the 11 month yet i still can't get use to the course i'm in...
everyday more things get jam up into my head but sometimes it just falls out
then when i get back home... wad i see is me on the bed texting msgs or in front of the com...
homeworks are always coming yet i still went to play =.=
playing com games really drain me a lot and i think it is tat problem tat lead me into this state of me
really piss with myself.
every saturday and sunday... i see myself as a very active person.
but when the weekdays come... i feel so pathetic.
this emotional ride is giving me the recks.
Sometimes i really hate to say it but i really can't get use to the people in my school.
it's true that there are nice people out thr in the school especially those in the campus crusade :)
but i just couldnt relate to them... they just seem so far.
i dunno why did i put myself in this school n why God really throws me this challenge.
It's really a pain in the ass.
Today.. i skipped school.
Woke up in the morning 7a.m and told myself...
"john, today i'm gonna recapped on the pass 3 weeks lectures"
and guess wad... i played for lyk 5 hours...
i dunno why but i always turn to them when i'm stress out....
it isnt healthy at all for me =.= but it always seem lyk the only way out...
after tat i studied but only accomplished a little.
even in school i get distraction, rejection is really hard... friends asking to go out to play...
Relax! have fun in poly...
yeah true, but being a student in poly is to study... studying is the fun thing not playing.
which really pissed me yet again ... peer pressure are really very influencial ...
sometimes i tot that i could handle them but yet... things happen
oh God... why me =.=
why is it that when i'm back to fellowship... i always felt something...
but when i'm back to society... it feels lyk hell.
why is it that i can't relate to you when times like this happen.
I'm sick and tired of being a soloer. i just wan to be a follower... not a hamster, but a camper
buffeer buffer...